Payal Phukan

I Refuse
You peeled me as an orange, mercilessly
quenched your thirst with
my blood oozing out from
a broken honeycomb.
You ground my bones into sugar
and sprinkled the crumble
on your favourite dessert.
You feasted on morsels of my soul,
rubbing off every fragment
of my morale that spilled
from the corners of your mouth.
You abandoned me like a crater
trapped forever in loops
of existential crisis.

But I refuse to be an exhausted constellation,
its contours dotted
with too many greasy fingers.
I will be a written word, a tale
that will pass down from generations,
forging weapons from fossils buried
in layers of ancestral mud,
quietly distorting the intricate pattern
of your genomes that nestle
in the roots of your hair
and proudly claim to be your identity.

On nights when you drift
to a peaceful sleep, I shall be the venomous snake
that curls around your neck
like summer air, spitting
its poison down the dough of your chest
to the hollow,
vehemently deny forgiveness
as I watch snippets of life
crawl out of you
along with the parts of me
and the creed
that you had digested.

Born and brought up in Guwahati, Payal Phukan is an engineer who escapes from the world of data and numbers by playing with words. She is an emerging poet with a few publications online. She perceives poetry as a way to connect with the thoughts and emotions which shy away from her otherwise. Besides poetry, she loves painting and playing chess.